After considerable thought and contemplation, I , Nurse Ratchette , of the Camp Happy whatever, submit the policies and procedures by which the health camp will be conducted: Please distribute too all involved.
HAPPY CAMP HEALTH POLICIES FOR OPERATION OF SAME
1. Inspections and Physicial exams daily at 6:00 a.m. including temperature, pulse and respirations with pupil exams. ( This is to establish base line stats in event of future accidents/injuries) Data will be recorded and kept ON FILE All passing inspection may proceed with routine duties - those not passing will be advised accordingly.
1. Report of Injury or accident
a. Call 911 - go to ER
b. Call back to camp when ready to be discharged -call a cab and we will hope to collect enought $$ to pay the fare when you arrive.
2. Report of illlness, i.e., headache, sunburn, stomachache, blisters. ingrown toenail, abscess tooth, etc., etc., etc.,
a, If under 35, call your mother
b. if 36 to 64 - take care of yourself
c. 65 and older - let nature takes its course
3. First Aid Kit - will be kept in locked box - as soon as we find the key you may have contents
4. Bites - dog, cat, snake, insect, spider, etc
a. Exterminate animal and dispose of body - i.e. death at sea, etc.
b. Find key to box and get snake oil leniment
c, Pray
d, Scratch where it itches
5. Bed check nightly at 10:00 p.m. - if you are in bed you will be locked outside until morning.
I am indeed honored to serve as your camp nurse -please be aware I do not have license to practice in South Carolina. I am certain the confidence you have in me will more than cover any deficits considered. Thanks again.
Camp Nurse Ratchett
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